My name is Uryu Ishida
by Kingdom Crumbles
Summary: Uryu Ishida, Szayel Aporro Granz, Ulquiorra Schiffer. These college kids will face problems that aren't so relatable such as an abusive father, a one-sided love obsession, and an inability to express oneself. They will have to face their own problems and make their lives what they want them to be. Even if that 'want' is simply to pass midterms. ...And get a date. GrimmUlqui RenIshi
1. Chapter 1: Otp - One True Pairing

Chapter 1: Otp - One True Pairing

* * *

_My name is Uryu Ishida _is about the strange friend group of Uryu Ishida, Szayel Aporro Granz and Ulquiorra Schiffer. These college kids will face problems that aren't so relatable such as an abusive father, a one-sided love obsession and an inability to express oneself. They will have to face their own problems and make their lives what they want them to be. Even if that '_want' _is only to pass midterms.

AU with no powers whatsoever.

* * *

_My name is Ulquiorra Schiffer. I'm actually really, really shocked at the moment. Oh yeah, I'm not really the type to show it on my face, so it's possible that people misunderstand me and that's normally okay because I could just tell them what I'm feeling, but this wasn't just an ordinary shock that I could so easily respond to. You want to know why? It's because the guy I've had a crush on for the longest time... _

"So... What I was saying is I like you and... I want ya to go out with me."

_...said something like that! Even though he's known to hook up with any pretty girl in sight! And I'm a guy. Is this a godsend!? A miracle!?_

"I guess this was a bad choice after all... The pink freak told me that much... I'll just leave th-"

He began walking away from Ulquiorra, head hung low in defeat, until his wrist was grabbed.

_Wait a minute, I do too!_

Turning back, Grimmjow locked eyes with the blank-faced teen.

_Rather I should be the one asking you..._

Yet, as soon as Ulquiorra tried to talk... "Uhm..." was all he could get out. It seemed to be enough as Grimmjow lifted his head and tried to regain part of his manhood.

"So I'll pick you up for a movie at eight?"

"Yes."

* * *

_Grimmjow Jeagerjaques is the quarterback for our school's football team. I like to watch his practice while I run. You see, I'm on the track team with my friends Uryu Ishida and Szayel Granz. Me and Szayel aren't that fast, though. I only joined to watch Grimmjow and Szayel only joined to have an excuse to see Uryu in his track uniform. Unlike us two, Uryu had no ulterior motive for joining the track team. He just loves to run and is really good at it._

Ulquiorra's attention was drawn from his stretches to the football teams scrimmage as Grimmjow let out a yelp.

"C'mon, Grimm! Keep your eyes on the ball, not on the track team!"

"Do ya wanna know where my foots gonna be in about two seconds, Red?!"

"I told you not to call me '_Red'_!"

"And I told you that only hot chicks are allowed to call me '_Grimm'_!"

Renji Abarai, the failing student, rebel, kendo fighter, football and soccer player, was one of the school's most social and popular students. Most of the girl's would die to be with him and the guys would kill to be him.

_I don't really know why. I mean, yeah, he's a nice guy and good athlete, but there's nothing else about him that I find appealing._

Renji winked, smacked Grimmjow on the ass and gave one of his larger than physically possible grins. Grimmjow was about to go into attack mode as Renji started to laugh, until they both heard Uryu's voice. He was somehow now standing next to Grimmjow, facing Renji.

_I did say he was fast. He's won every competition he's entered and has a record for being the fastest male in Japan at only eighteen._

Renji went from the beginnings of laughter, to the beginnings of tears. Uryu was pissed.

"Did _you_ just _slap his ass _and _wink_?"

_Most people should be feared when they're screaming, but Uryu should be feared in situations like this, where you have to strain your ears to hear him._

"I was just messin' with 'im! Trust me, Grimm here is _so_ not my type!"

"Well I'm not so sure that you're my type anymore!"

Most of the track members and football players weren't paying any mind to the three of them. This was a usual occurrence, after all.

Uryu Ishida, the perfect student, runner, archer, fashion designer and even judo fighter, was a little _off_ in some respects. He just had a way of rileing everyone up, even when he probably shouldn't. Also, he lacks the ability to back down from an opponent. Whether it be a screaming match or a fist fight, Uryu didn't give in till the end.

_People like this shouldn't date._

_Especially mindless jocks who always seem to do stupid things._

_*cough* Renji Abarai *cough*_

"Weren't you the one who was jealous when I was _justtalking_ to another guy!?"

"You two were _'just talking' _in your _dorm _for _45 minutes!_"

"We were working on a school project together!"

Yeah, this was a weekly occurrence.

_Good thing track only meets on Fridays..._

"And they're at it again. I give them one more week, tops."

_And here he goes again, trying to sabotage another of Uryu's relationships..._

Szayel Aporro Granz, a genius who would be top of the class, if he was ever in class. The only ones he shows up to are the ones he shares with Uryu. Oh yeah, he's been in love with Uryu since the day they met, but Uryu pretends to be blind to Szayel's feelings. Whenever Uryu tries to date someone, Szayel will do something to ruin the relationship. Somehow, Renji has willed through all of Szayel's attacks so far, but Szayel still hasn't given up.

"What are you saying, Szayel? The more he argues with someone, the more he likes them."

"Ulqui, by your logic, Ury is in love with his stalker, Kurotsuchi."

Mayuri Kurotsuchi, this school's most hated student, Szayel's number one enemy, and Uryu's number one stalker. And yes, the '_number one'_ is necessary because Uryu actually has multiple stalkers.

"You know what I mean, Szayel. If you look, his eyes are always smiling when he argues with certain people, as long as their argument is more routine than serious. Take Ichigo Kurosaki and Yumic-"

"Ulqui! Go scrub your mouth this instant! We don't say Ayasegawa's name unless it's followed by an insult to that ugly, bird-brain!"

"Well, unlike you, Uryu likes talking about clothing with him."

Yumichika Ayasegawa, the delinquent that shows up to just about as many classes as Szayel. His fashion sense may be a little gaudy, but Uryu likes how the man stands by and defends his own style, instead of following the crowd. Szayel's number two enemy, but one of Uryu's close friends.

_And before you ask, because I know this will be blowing up in the comment section, Szayel, my dear friend Szayel, has 49 total enemies._

"He can talk about clothing with me, if that's what he wants."

"But Uryu likes talking with him because they're in the same design class. I'm surprised you didn't take it as well."

Szayel frowned and pushed his glasses up.

"You know that I have too many enemies in that class for it to end well. Ayasegawa, Kurotsuchi's robot of a little sister, Inoue, the Kuchiki runt, and don't even get me started on the teacher."

"What's wrong with Otoribashi-sensei?"

"For starters, he makes people call him 'Rose'. It's ridiculously annoying."

"You just hate him because he has better hair than you."

Before Szayel could retort, their coach stopped next to where they were sitting on the ground, pretending to be '_stretching'_. She sighed.

"Look, you two… I know you're not going to be running laps around the football field with the rest of the team, and I don't really care if you do or don't, but if you're going to stay on this team, then I want you to at least make an effort."

Szayel arched an eyebrow.

"At least we're on the track. I don't see you demanding that Uryu come back here and participate."

"That's true, but Uryu is also the most talented person on this team and I want him to stay on this team. Even if that means that he's going to duck out and yell at Renji once in a while." Their coach looked to the where Uryu was, lowering her voice so that no one but Ulquiorra and Szayel could hear. "Also, he scares me a little. I want to stay on his good side." She began to jog away, but quickly yelled over his shoulder. "Get moving, boys!"

Once she was out of earshot, Szayel looked back at Ulquiorra.

"Yoruichi Shihoin… I don't mind her, she's a pretty cool coach. Anyone else would make us run or just kick us off the team."

"I thought, last week, you hated her."

"Well, Ulqui, _my dear friend_, I've learned to enjoy her company."

Ulquiorra stood and Szayel followed.

"Well, Szayel, _my dear friend_, I've learned that she is very dedicated to her husband of seven years, as I'm sure you learned as well. And of course, Uryu would never let himself be attracted to someone who already has a lover."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"I believe it means that, originally, you were jealous of her beauty, but you realized that Uryu would never be into someone in a dedicated relationship, so you decided that she was not to be considered as one of your '_enemies'_."

Szayel rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything against it. They began walking the track, reveling in the sounds of Uryu screaming at his idiotic boyfriend.


	2. Chapter 2: I Ship GrimmUlqui

Chapter 2: I Ship GrimmUlqui - Grimmjow Jeagerjaques / Ulquiorra Schiffer

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Chapter One Summary: Ulquiorra's crush, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, finally worked up the courage to ask him out. Grimmjow is the quarterback for the school's football team, but doesn't really do anything else. Renji Abarai is also on the football team, but he's very athletically involved, so he's also on the soccer and kendo teams. Ulquiorra, Szayel, and Uryu are all on the track team together, even though Szayel and Ulquiorra couldn't run to save their lives. Renji and Uryu are dating, but only God knows why. I mean, they're always fighting (Renji being far too overprotecting and Uryu being far too... not caring), so they definitely won't last that long, or at least that's how Szayel sees things. But that's mainly because Szayel wants Uryu all to himself, even though Uryu is not romantically interested in him. Who knew college could be so amusing?

Thanks for staying with me to chapter two, in which Ulquiorra gets a date and Szayel gets a sweater.

* * *

"So? What did he say?"

"He said that he'd pick me up for a movie at eight."

"Kyaaaaa!" Ulquiorra and Uryu covered their ears as Szayel started rolling on the floor in excitement. "I can't believe it! You've finally tamed the panther... Imagine what he'll be like..."

A pillow smacked him in the face.

"Don't be disgusting, Szayel." Uryu was sitting cross-legged on the bed, drawing up a dress design for the school's next play set back in the 1600's. "Not everyone is as, for lack of a better term, _horny _as you."

Szayel threw the pillow back, but Uryu easily caught it and put it back behind his back.

"So, if your date is at eight then you only have about two hours to prepare! You'll never make it on time!"

Ulquiorra chose to ignore him and kept watching Uryu sketch out the design. "You're going to add _that many _ruffles?" It wasn't meant as an insult and Uryu didn't take it that way.

"On paper it may look strange, but think about who will be wearing it. Kotetsu-san is a very tall women. The ruffles are necessary for the dress to look normal on her."

"You two never listen to me!" Szayel rolled around some more. The two sitting on the bed glanced down at him and he smiled, knowing the one thing that would get Uryu into action. And once Uryu was in action, Ulquiorra would follow. "What are you planning on wearing?"

Uryu was up and at the closet before you could bat an eye.

"Considering Ulquiorra's deathly pale skin tone and his surreal emerald eyes..." Uryu pulled out a sweater as his face twisted in horror. "Why do you have a, far too large, yellow sweater!? When did you even get this!? I mean, I'm with you at school and we shop together, do track together, eat together... We're with each other at least 3/4's of the day! When did you buy this sweater!?"

"I was online looking for Szayel's birthday present and found that they were selling the English singer, Katy Perry's, sweater, so I thought he would like it." Ulquiorra walked over and took the sweater from Uryu. "Look, she signed the collar." Szayel was silent as he rose from the floor. Ulquiorra went deeper into the walk in closet and rummaged through a blue bin. Grabbing a bow out, he stuck it to the sweater and handed it to Szayel. "Happy early birthday."

Szayel dropped to the floor and began rolling around again.

"KYAAAAAAA!"

"You're welcome."

* * *

_My Name is Ulquiorra Schiffer and right now..._

"AHHHH!"

_I'm having the time of my life. _

"Hey, how do you like the movie so far? You seem kind of off in your own world... We can leave if you want."

"No, this movie is really good."

_Oh yeah, I'm sure I've said this before, but_ _**I'm not one to show any kind of expression on the outside at all**__. You probably can't tell by looking at me, but I'm having a blast. 'Why', you ask? It's because my nosey friend Szayel..._

"No! Don't check in the closet!"

_...hates horror movies. Uryu is pretty obsessed with them which is how we found out about Szayel's fear. Why am I so happy he's afraid?_

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

_Because it serves him right for trying to stalk me on my date. Uryu's here, too, but I haven't figured out how to get him back yet. Both of them had followed me and Grimmjow to the movie theater. They really are the most nosey people you'll ever meet…_

Grimmjow leaned a little closer to Ulquiorra and whispered more into his ear. "That kinda sounds like pinky… But I doubt he'd be screamin' like that at this shitty excuse for a horror movie."

Ulquiorra couldn't help the little giggle that escaped him.

_Wait, what? I actually… giggled to someone besides Uryu... What does this mean? I've never really been able to show emotions like that, even if it was just a giggle. Grimmjow thinks it's weird, too. He's not watching the movie anymore. He's looking at me._

"Ya know, you're really cute when you blush."

_Blush? Am I? I've blushed only twice before, so why am I blushing now? This is too weird… And why is he just looking at me? Does he want me to look at him, too? _

Ulquiorra turned away from the movie to look at Grimmjow. He had a large grin dominating his face and Ulquiorra could feel heat come over his face as Grimmjow leaned towards him.

_Is he… going to…_

"**NO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE!"**

Both of them jerked their heads back as a scream dominated the theater. This time it wasn't Szayel, it was the pretty women on the screen. As they both turned back to the movie, they realised they had missed most of it. They were too caught up in each other.

_But I would've rather got that kiss… Fucking Women, stealing Grimmjow's attention away from me. _

As the women on-screen fell to the floor, the ending credits began to roll, but before the lights could turn on, Grimmjow turned Ulquiorra's head and planted a chaste kiss on his lips. Ulquiorra could've sworn he heard Szayel's loud cry, but he chose to ignore it.


	3. Chapter 3: I Ship RenIshi

Chapter 3: I Ship RenIshi - Renji Abarai / Uryu Ishida

* * *

Chapter One Summary: Ulquiorra's crush, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, finally worked up the courage to ask him out. Grimmjow is the quarterback for the school's football team, but doesn't really do anything else. Renji Abarai is also on the football team, but he's very athletically involved, so he's also on the soccer and kendo teams. Ulquiorra, Szayel, and Uryu are all on the track team together, even though Szayel and Ulquiorra couldn't run to save their lives. Renji and Uryu are dating, but only God knows why. I mean, they're always fighting (Renji being far too overprotecting and Uryu being far too... not caring), so they definitely won't last that long, or at least that's how Szayel sees things. But that's mainly because Szayel wants Uryu all to himself, even though Uryu is not romantically interested in him. Who knew college could be so amusing?

Chapter Two Summary: Ulquiorra gives Szayel either a super late or amazingly early birthday present. Speaking of Szayel, he hates horror movies (weird, right?). Of course, the movie Grimmjow takes Ulquiorra to is a horror one. Szayel's scared out of his mind, but Ulquiorra thinks that it serves him right since he's totally invading his personal space anyway. As emotions started to grow on Ulquiorra's face, he feels Grimmjow's eyes on him. Turning to him, Ulquiorra sees Grimmjow leaning in. Too bad the fucking woman on screen screamed at that exact moment, causing them both to pull back. Ulquiorra only had a second to mop because Grimmjow quickly pulled his lips to his own. Szayel's great 'kyaaaa!' seemed to echo throughout the theater, but Ulquiorra didn't even hear. The perfect first date and the perfect first kiss.

Thanks for staying with me till chapter three, in which we travel back in time to the forming of RenIshi.

* * *

"Watch out!"

Uryu turned and tried to view the world in slow motion, like his late grandfather had taught him. He easily saw the football speeding to his face, but he didn't let himself be scared. Planting his feet, he shot his arm up and caught the ball right before it touched his nose. Things went back to real speed as he looked at the football team. Having track practice _around_ the football field _while_ football practice was happening was a _terrible _idea. Had it been anyone else with a ball flying for their face, they probably would've been sent to the hospital for head injuries. Uryu glared at the blushing duo of red and blue.

"I thought you were supposed to throw the balls at _each other, _not at the track team."

The ball came out of his left hand in a tight spiral. Renji wasn't expecting such a hard and accurate throw and was off-balance. When he tried to catch it, the ball smacked him in the chest and sent him falling into Grimmjow, successfully knocking them both over. Uryu smirked and the coach grinned.

"Hey kid! You look tiny, but you're strong enough to knock my star players on their asses. What position do you play?"

Uryu raised his eyebrow. Even from the sideline, Kenpachi's voice could be heard loud and clear.

"I'm sorry, Zaraki-sensei, but I have about as much interest in joining the football team as you do in joining the chess club."

Yoruichi popped up next to Uryu and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. He frowned and would have blushed, had she not done this every time she saw him.

"Besides, he needs to focus on running if he's going to win that marathon next month! He placed first at the festival last week, so he can't lose now!"

Uryu sighed.

"I don't know why you want me anyway, Zaraki-sensei. Haven't you been after Kurosaki since the day he started college?"

Kenpachi laughed so hard he actually looked _more_ like a psychotic killing machine.

"That boy can't play football to save his life! If anything, I'd rather have another kendo match with him! We never got to finish our last one!"

_Does it concern anyone else that a teacher is constantly physically fighting his students? I remember the day Kurosaki came back to our dorm after Kendo... He couldn't lie on his back for two weeks and apparently _he _was the winner._

Uryu shook Yoruichi's arm off and started up at a comfortable pace, enjoying the light breeze as it blew his hair back out of his face. He sent a smile to Ulquiorra and Szayel who were still _'stretching' _on the ground. They smiled back (or at least as much of a smile as Ulquiorra could give) and he continued jogging, not noticing the other set of eyes that were following him.

* * *

_My name is Uryu Ishida. I'm actually really annoyed at the moment. Oh yeah, I'm the type that is easy to read as long as I want to be read. Right now, I'm projecting all signs of 'you can't even believe how annoyed I am right now'. You want to know why? Fine, but I have to explain something first. For some reason, everyone at this college seems to be homosexual and while homosexuality doesn't bother me, the fact that literally _everyone _in this college swings that way makes me believe that we're in some shitty yaoi anime or something. Anyway, it seems like at least once a week some random guy that I don't even recognize comes up to me and says something..._

"Look, I've really liked you for a long time and want to go out with you."

_...Along the lines of what this guy just said to me._

Uryu crossed his arms and looked up into the nervous man's crimson eyes.

"You've _'really liked me for a long time'_? I don't even know who you are."

The other man looked a little deflated, but quickly tried to bounce back with a face splitting grin that only seemed to succeed in giving Uryu a headache.

"I'm Renji Abarai. Second year here. I'm on the football, soccer, and kendo teams. I'm failing every class except math, don't even ask me why, but I'm somehow good at math. Yes, my tattoo's go all the way down, but not on my... you know. I've been growing out my hair ever since I was a kid, even though it went through sort of an awkward pineapple phase. My roommate is never at the dorm, but that's okay because I'm always out doing something with my friends anyway. I love watching horror movies, but mainly because they make me laugh. My fatal flaw in any relationship is being too cling-y and protective, but I can clearly see that you don't need any protecting. I was born August 31st and try to ignore negative comments." Uryu gave him a look that told him he didn't see any meaning behind any of those statements. Renji visibly relaxed. "You said you didn't know me, so I figured I'd tell you before you had a chance to leave."

Uryu thought for a moment, then uncrossed his arms.

"Oh, you're the one who almost nailed me with a ball a week ago."

The grin on Renji's face only grew.

"Yep, that's me."

The annoyed expression was gone, replaced by a soft smile.

"Even though you sound kind of like a wild animal, I think I'm interested in learning a little more. I'm Uryu Ishida, but all you need to know is that I seem to be your opposite. And maybe my phone number."

"How about we make a date now so that you can't skip out on me. How about... Bowling."

"Bowling?"

"Yeah... A couple of my friends wanted to go and I figured it would be fun. But if you don't want to, it's okay."

"No, I would love to. Who's all going? Upperclassmen, I presume?"

"Upperclassmen-_ish_."

"What do you mean by _'ish'_?"

"Well, Rangiku is a couple of years older than me and she works at a bar called Seireitei. Her boyfriend, Gin, is a little older than her and is the maths teacher. Yeah, it's weird to hang out with the teacher, but he's a pretty chill guy. Ikkaku and Yumi can-"

"Yumi? As in Yumichika Ayasegawa?"

"Yeah, do you know him?"

"We hang out sometimes, but Szayel and him seem to hate each other."

"Your pink friend?" Uryu nodded. "Hope it doesn't cause any problems, but I'm with him a lot."

"No, it's fine. Szayel will just have to deal with it. Speaking of Szayel, he's probably going to follow us tomorrow. He usually does that. Don't worry, he isn't any good at spying on people. He tends to giggle too much. And he refuses to put a hat over his pink hair." Renji laughed and Uryu looked up at him. "What's so funny?"

"It's just that my friends persisted that, when I told them about how I wanted to ask you out, I take you bowling with them. They're a pretty big group and I know that Rangiku would have made them all come and spy on us. Trust me, if you think pinky is a bad stalker, you've never seen them."

Uryu laughed this time.

"Shame I won't get to see them in action."

* * *

"Another one really approached you?"

"Yeah, but he was different. Even though he is kind of an idiot, he's a cute idiot."

Szayel and Ulquiorra both raised an eyebrow at Uryu's noticeably softer tone. Whenever he talked about random guys asking him out, he always sounded really pissed. This time, he sounded a little happy.

"You turned him down like usual, right? I mean, if he just came up to you and confessed before you even knew his name, he can't be good for you."

"I wouldn't say I said '_no'_..."

Ulquiorra came close to a small smile as Szayel's face fell into a deep frown which Uryu didn't look up from his sketch book long enough to notice. Szayel was about to continue until Uryu's phone went off from inside his jean pocket.

"Hello? ...Oh, hey, Abarai-san. ...Yes, I'm still free. ...Move it to seven? ...That's fine. I'll see you there. Goodbye."

Uryu put his phone back down and tried to continue sketching, but he could feel the two sets of eyes burning on him.

"You did make a date."

"So what if I did?"

Szayel crossed his legs as he looked at Uryu from a lavender chair across his own bedroom.

"You said '_Abarai-san'._ Does that mean that this mystery man is the meathead, Renji Abarai who is one year our senior?"

"So what if he is?"

Ulquiorra finally interrupted. "Grimmjow Jeagerjaques' friend, right?" But Uryu and Szayel just gave him a look. Until Uryu thought of a way to get himself out of the topic of conversation.

"Have you thought about asking him yet, Ulquiorra?"

"I've thought about it, but I doubt he even knows I exist."

Uryu closed his sketch book and placed it and his pencil on the desk he was sitting at. He walked over to where Ulquiorra was laying on Szayel's bed and took a seat next to him.

"Stop with the self loathing. I know for a fact that some of our classmates have their eyes on you. And why not? You're cute, at the very least. Anyone would be more than lucky to have you. The only reason why you don't have guys desperate for you is that you make yourself unapproachable. I told you already, you don't need to change anything about yourself because you're going to find somebody who won't want you any other way. ...But you should at least be a little friendlier.

Ulquiorra's face finally twisted into something that could be considered a frown, but Uryu easily saw this as a face-splitting grin. Uryu sighed and layed back until his head rested on Ulquiorra's stomach. Szayel let out a small laugh, but Uryu could tell that he had forced it out of his mouth.

_What are you supposed to do when your bestfriend is in love with you? It seems like all I'm doing is slowly crushing his heart._

"I'll go get some more soda."

Szayel closed the bedroom door as he left. Uryu slowly rose from Ulquiorra's stomach and left the bed to go sit back in his original spot.

"Do you really think that this is the best way to deal with it? Pretend you don't notice and show no interest?"

"That's been the plan for a few years now. At least until I find the perfect person for him. The closest I've come is Kurosaki, if Szayel even gives him the time of day. Until he's ready, I really can't do anything for him."

"And when will he be '_ready'_?"

Uryu sighed and opened up his sketch book to look at what he had been working on. Something that was Szayel, but not Szayel. The man standing with his arms stretched wide had strange wings coming from his back. Uryu darkened the shading on the markings around his eye.

"When he meets the right person."

"You do realize that, in his mind, he already has."

Uryu frowned and started adding a background to the picture.

"Then maybe _I _need to meet the right person."

"And Renji Abarai fits the picture you've been drawing?"

"Considering this is a picture of a mutant Szayel, the answer is no. If you're talking about the picture of my future as a rich fashion designer who makes affordable, yet amazing, designs, the answer is that I don't know. It could be Abarai-san, but the thought of that makes me want to dump him right now."

"Still afraid of commitment, Mr. Desirable?"

"You know, for someone with no sense of humor, you sure make a lot of jokes." Ulquiorra did a real, small smile, but Uryu just sighed. "Yeah, I'm still a little scared, but why wouldn't I be? You are one of the few people who should understand, since you know about her."

"I doubt the same thing will happen twice, Uryu."

"Yeah, well, I don't have the best of luck when it comes to loved ones. I'm surprised neither you nor Szayel have been hit by a bus yet." The door swung open and Uryu couldn't help but giggle at Yylfordt only dressed in a towel, his hair laying, damp, on his shoulders. "Wrong room, Granz-san."

"Shit, sorry."

Szayel smacked the back of his head.

"Shit, sorry, I didn't know that would hurt. Get out of my room and put some damn clothes on!"

* * *

"Seems like I beat you again, Abarai."

"Fine, then I challenge you to another round!"

Uryu smirked.

_Who knew bowling was this much fun? The only one here I'm actually friends with is Yumichika. Besides that, the only one I actually met before today is Renji Abarai, if you don't count my creepy maths teacher. We've been here for three hours now, and I'm still having a great time. I could say that it's because I'm bowling with a bunch of amazing people, but..._

_I think it's because I'm here with Abarai._

Uryu grabbed a ball. With a smirk, he walked forward and released. Strike. Renji just grinned and grabbed another ball. It was his turn.


	4. Chapter 4: I Ship SzayIshi

Chapter 4: I Ship SzayIshi: Szayel Aporro Granz / Uryu Ishida

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_**Chapter One Summary:**_ _Ulquiorra's crush, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, finally worked up the courage to ask him out. Grimmjow is the quarterback for the school's football team, but doesn't really do anything else. Renji Abarai is also on the football team, but he's very athletically involved, so he's also on the soccer and kendo teams. Ulquiorra, Szayel, and Uryu are all on the track team together, even though Szayel and Ulquiorra couldn't run to save their lives. Renji and Uryu are dating, but only God knows why. I mean, they're always fighting (Renji being far too overprotecting and Uryu being far too... not caring), so they definitely won't last that long, or at least that's how Szayel sees things. But that's mainly because Szayel wants Uryu all to himself, even though Uryu is not romantically interested in him. Who knew college could be so amusing?_

_**Chapter Two Summary:** Ulquiorra gives Szayel either a super late or amazingly early birthday present. Speaking of Szayel, he hates horror movies (weird, right?). Of course, the movie Grimmjow takes Ulquiorra to is a horror one. Szayel's scared out of his mind, but Ulquiorra thinks that it serves him right since he's totally invading his personal space anyway. As emotions started to grow on Ulquiorra's face, he feels Grimmjow's eyes on him. Turning to him, Ulquiorra sees Grimmjow leaning in. Too bad the fucking woman on screen screamed at that exact moment, causing them both to pull back. Ulquiorra only had a second to mop because Grimmjow quickly pulled his lips to his own. Szayel's great 'kyaaaa!' seemed to echo throughout the theater, but Ulquiorra didn't even hear. The perfect first date and the perfect first kiss._

**Chapter Three Summary:** We traveled back in time to see the making of RenIshi. Barely avoiding being hit by a poorly aimed football, Uryu yells over to Renji and Grimmjow because it was totally all their fault. We learned that, for some strange reason, most of the guys in this college were gay; it's like their in some shitty yaoi manga or something. Renji tries to ask him out, but Uryu only gets mad. That is until he sees Renji's quarky personality and can't help but be drawn in. Szayel gets angry, but it was only a matter of time since he's obviously in love with Uryu. But, even though Uryu knows Szayel is in love with him, he doesn't do anything to directly confront the problem because he believes it will all even out "when he meets the right person". Uryu has a troublesome past and is a little afraid of entering into a committed relationship, while Renji is full speed ahead. Truly a disastrous relationship, right?

Sorry for the long time away, but I was really busy with my other story. (Btw, you don't have to read the chapter summaries. They are mainly there to help myself keep on track with the story, but also incase your memory is as bad as mine.) Thanks for sticking with it till chapter 4! This chapter, you will notice, is a little different than the others. I am not going to make every chapter like this. This is the 1/3 chapters that will be told from first person. The entire chapter is about the past, narrated from present Szayel. Hope you enjoy!

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Some call me an "_attention whore", _but I just say that I demand only what is to be expected. I can't help the fact that my looks were always less than average. It's not like I was ugly or anything, it's just that, when I was younger, I was so plain people actually wouldn't notice me. I actually went through middle school without anyone seeing me. I adapted a habit of being, what some would say, "_overly cruel", _but I only acted the way I did so that people would notice me. And now, even though my hair color makes me visible from a continent away, the habit is formed. Going back to the original "_attention whore" _thing, my dyed hair and my "_disturbingly psychotic" _personality makes me seem to demand more than the average person, but I think I deserve it.

_Considering the fact that the love of my life told me so. _

When I finally snapped from the fact that no one knew I existed, I dyed my long, awkward brown, wavy hair a bright shade of purple. I finally got noticed, but not in a good way. I was the school's biggest joke. At this time, my freshman year in highschool, I wasn't demanding and couldn't even stand up for myself when someone would say something rude or cruel to me. One time, when I wasn't paying attention, one of the meanest boys in school snuck up on me with a pair of scissors. I didn't notice him and my long hair was almost chopped off. Uryu put the boy into a headlock before he could snip the scissors. I turned at the sound of the boy's skull getting smashed into the desk behind me. The whole class bursted into tears with laughter at the dazed expression the boy had on his face and the new "_laughing stock" _was the boy.

Uryu came to me during lunch break that day.

I would always eat alone in a secluded place in the school's garden, but he deliberately sought me out. He said that he "_loved the shade of my hair", _I didn't believe him and was planning on quietly ignoring him, until he sat beside me and said that "_It fits perfectly with my face". _He asked me if he could braid it and I just nodded. The end of that day, I got over a dozen compliments from the ones who mocked me, ignored me, or just never met me before. They said I "_looked nice with braided hair"._

Me and Uryu became best friends.

The few who still tried to pick on me were beaten senseless by the deceivingly skinny Uryu. He was so amazing, he never stood down to anyone. Well, that wasn't completely true. Sometimes, Uryu will freeze and end up doing nothing but turning his knuckles white, but that is only true with one person: His father. But that story is for later. For now, I'll tell you of how I adapted my "_disturbingly psychotic" _personality.

By the time I was a sophomore, only my homeroom knew me and they knew me as the quiet homo, who hid behind his twink body guard. Some thought I was pretty, but most didn't care enough to look. Once again, I found myself wanting... _more_. I cut my braid and got a straight perm for my wavy hair. I came to school dressed in the latest, super expensive (but I'm rich, so it didn't matter) fashion, shoulder length, pin-straight, blood red, hair. Instead of being ignored, I purposefully ignored everyone. I got top marks in the classes I actually attended and made sure that anyone who bullied me received a proper tongue lashing. I was known by the whole school as the man who made seniors cry. I didn't know why at the time, but Uryu drifted more and more away from me until one day close to the end of sophomore year.

A particularly weak girl, the new student, bumped into me and made my books spill across the floor. I was livid. I began the verbal assaults until she was in tears, but I kept going. One second, I was screaming my head off, the next, I was slapped across the face. My first thought was that the girl did it, but when I looked, Uryu was directing his most piercing glare, the one he reserved for the worst of bullies, at me. I was too stunned to move, but he wasn't. He knelt in front of the crying girl. She looked down at him as he grabbed her hand and looked up at her. I'll never forget the sentence he spoke because it ripped my heart out.

"_**Not everyone acts like that**_… _Are you hurt in anyway at all, Miss?"_

"_O-oh, no… It was my fault… I'm pretty clumsy."_

Uryu straightened up and released her hand, only to grab a tissue from his pocket and wipe her face.

"_It's not your fault, __**Granz was being cruel.**_ _Shall I walk you to your next class?"_

"_No! I couldn't ask you to do that-Not that I'm not thankful, you're just being so kind…"_

"_It's nothing. I'm Uryu Ishida."_

She sniffled and looked up at him with her grey eyes.

"_Orihime Inoue. Thank you, Ishida-kun." _As they passed me, she made Uryu pause. Turning to me, she quickly dropped to the floor and picked up the two notebooks I had dropped. She stood and bowed while handing me the books. "_I'm very sorry that I ran into you."_

And then they were down the hall. Staring at their backs brought tears to my own eyes. **Uryu Ishida hated me**, but, even if he didn't hate me, I didn't stand a chance. That girl was so beautiful. A desired shape, large breasts, long auburn hair, and large, doe eyes. Uryu's eyes softened in a way they never did for me when he saw her.

Later that day, he found me at my new "_usual spot", _sitting at the popular table because no one dared to cast me away. He didn't hesitate as he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me off into the garden. He didn't glare at me, but the look he gave me hurt more than any glare. The things he threw at me were as follows:

"_You're worse than when I started helping you."_

"_You're horrible."_

"_How dare you do that."_

"_The bullied becomes the bully."_

"_If you do that again, I will do you much worse than a slap."_

"_I give up on you."_

Then he left the garden. He left me to my thoughts. I sat on the very spot where he raised me up, the very spot where he shot me down. There wasn't one person in this school who didn't know me at least by reputation. I never let them pick on me, but I didn't try to stop their gossip. I would always listen to them, studying their words in case I would have to use them against them later on. A repeating phrase was the one I said earlier on in this story.

"_Attention whore."_

_Attention whore._

Attention whore.

Sitting in that spot, all I could say to myself was "_attention whore". _I was never noticed in elementry school or middle school. I was finally noticed my freshmen year in highschool, but was bullied everyday. My saving angel appeared to me one day. He was perfect, a true guardian angel in every way imaginable. But, even though he defended me from bullies and became my first and only real friend, I hated the fact that he shined brighter than me. I turned on him and became the biggest bully in the school. All I wanted was to be noticed, but I didn't realize that it cost more than I could afford.

The idea of losing him.

The idea of losing my bestfriend.

The idea of losing my guardian angel.

_The idea of losing the love of my life._

I ran from the garden, through the cafeteria, ignoring the stares and murmurs of the other students. My vision was a bleary mess, but I didn't realize why and I didn't stop until his bleary figure came into view. I called to him and two people turned to me. Next to him was the girl I had yelled at, Orihime Inoue. Ignoring my petty jealousy, I grabbed him and pulled him as close to me as I could into something that could be called a hug, but was more of me not wanting him to walk out of my life. If he left, I would be nothing. _I would mean nothing._ He seemed completely shocked and went rigid in my desperate grasp. After he realized what was going on, he relaxed and wrapped his hands around me.

"_Don't cry, Szayel."_

And just like that, all the bad things went away. All the designer clothes, the hair dye, the disposable friends, the jealousy, the rage, the frustration, the actions, and all the bad words.

Attention whore.

_Attention whore._

"_Attention whore."_

The gossip went back to being just that: Gossip. I didn't agree with them anymore. I don't call myself an attention whore anymore, it's faded back into something idiots who don't try to look past my surface say. It doesn't bother me, because it's not true.

Even though I still wear expensive clothing.

Even though I still dye my hair.

Even though I still act "_disturbingly psychotic"_.

He said that _"I am absolutely beautiful just the way I am"._

That it was okay for me to crave attention, it was perfectly natural. He told me to know the limits, to know where to draw the line. He wants me to help others the way he helped me, but that's the difference between us. If he's a guardian angel, then I am nothing but a worshiper. Now, I don't demand attention from anyone but him, because that's what anyone would want.

_The love of the love of your life._


	5. Chapter 5: I Ship SzayUlqui

Chapter 5: I Ship SzayUlqui - Szayel Aporro Granz / Ulquiorra Schiffer

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_**Chapter One Summary:**_ _Ulquiorra's crush, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, finally worked up the courage to ask him out. Grimmjow is the quarterback for the school's football team, but doesn't really do anything else. Renji Abarai is also on the football team, but he's very athletically involved, so he's also on the soccer and kendo teams. Ulquiorra, Szayel, and Uryu are all on the track team together, even though Szayel and Ulquiorra couldn't run to save their lives. Renji and Uryu are dating, but only God knows why. I mean, they're always fighting (Renji being far too overprotecting and Uryu being far too... not caring), so they definitely won't last that long, or at least that's how Szayel sees things. But that's mainly because Szayel wants Uryu all to himself, even though Uryu is not romantically interested in him. Who knew college could be so amusing?_

_**Chapter Two Summary:** Ulquiorra gives Szayel either a super late or amazingly early birthday present. Speaking of Szayel, he hates horror movies (weird, right?). Of course, the movie Grimmjow takes Ulquiorra to is a horror one. Szayel's scared out of his mind, but Ulquiorra thinks that it serves him right since he's totally invading his personal space anyway. As emotions started to grow on Ulquiorra's face, he feels Grimmjow's eyes on him. Turning to him, Ulquiorra sees Grimmjow leaning in. Too bad the fucking woman on screen screamed at that exact moment, causing them both to pull back. Ulquiorra only had a second to mop because Grimmjow quickly pulled his lips to his own. Szayel's great 'kyaaaa!' seemed to echo throughout the theater, but Ulquiorra didn't even hear. The perfect first date and the perfect first kiss._

_**Chapter Three Summary:** We traveled back in time to see the making of RenIshi. Barely avoiding being hit by a poorly aimed football, Uryu yells over to Renji and Grimmjow because it was totally all their fault. We learned that, for some strange reason, most of the guys in this college were gay; it's like their in some shitty yaoi manga or something. Renji tries to ask him out, but Uryu only gets mad. That is until he sees Renji's quirky personality and can't help but be drawn in. Szayel gets angry, but it was only a matter of time since he's obviously in love with Uryu. But, even though Uryu knows Szayel is in love with him, he doesn't do anything to directly confront the problem because he believes it will all even out "when he meets the right person". Uryu has a troublesome past and is a little afraid of entering into a committed relationship, while Renji is full speed ahead. Truly a disastrous relationship, right?_

**Chapter Four Summary: **A story about Szayel's past and his love. About how "attention whore" lost meaning. Became just something ridiculous, something only idiots say. And of course, the person who helped him realize that words can't hurt you, that words are, in fact, only words. Sadly, in fixing Szayel's life, Uryu created a new problem. Szayel fell in love with his-uninterested-best friend.

I'm sorry if the way I order my chapters confuses anyone. In writing this kind of story, the really difficult thing for me is being able to order the chapters in a way that makes sense to anyone but me. I actually have a ridiculous amount of chapters typed up, I just need to read through and do some editing. I literally have no time, but I really enjoy making these stories (why else would I wright them?), so I can't rest. Meh.

**You might want to read this part:** In this chapter, we travel back in time! A time before the existence of RenIshi or GrimmUlqui! This is the story of how Ulquiorra and Szayel became friends! (Btw, the end of this chapter is a preview into chapter 6)

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_My name is Ulquiorra Schiffer. I'm actually really, really infuriated at the moment. I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but_ _**I'm not one to show any kind of expression on the outside at all**__. You probably can't tell by looking at me, but I am about to explode in anger. I'm about to commit murder because my best friend's old friend…_

"So if you know what's best for you, I recommend you stay away from him."

_Said that sentence after dumping a bucket of red paint on me. Szayel Granz is Uryu's friend from highschool who just transferred into our college about a week ago. Apparently, he found my closeness to Uryu as a challenge and has been trying to scare me away ever since meeting me. Today was a more drastic step. When I opened my locker, the bucked spilled the paint all over my front. Szayel came out laughing. I tried not to let it bother me, tried to stand my ground, but when he told me to stay away from the only person who acknowledged me as a human being… I was steaming. I wasn't paying enough attention to anything else and was as surprised as Szayel when he came in._

Uryu pushed Szayel into the lockers and slapped him across the face. Anger and betrayal flashed across Uryu's face as he held Szayel by the front of his shirt, pinning him to the lockers. "Szayel Aporro Granz, I want you to leave right this instant before I decide on a good use for this bucket." He backed up and Ulquiorra saw Szayel's expression before he stormed off. He looked like he was about to cry. "Ulquiorra, I am so sorry for him. Are you okay? Let's get to the bathroom, I hope the paint washes off easy… Your clothing is probably ruined, though."

He dragged Ulquiorra after him, ignoring the whispers from the other passing students. After entering the bathroom, Uryu checked the stalls to make sure they were empty, then locked the main door. Grabbing a handful of paper towels, he wet them, then began wiping Ulquiorra's face.

"Why didn't you say anything? Oh, look who I'm asking… You need to start standing up for yourself, Ulquiorra. Believe it or not, Szayel Granz used to be as shy as you. I helped him come out of his shell, but… I swear, he's not a bad guy, it's just… Well, he doesn't have much and what he has, he obsesses over. I'm one of the only people in his life, so he wants me to himself. I'll straighten him out later. Okay, your face is as clean as it's going to get, so let's get you to Otoribashi-sensei's classroom. He'll let me get you something to wear for the rest of the day."

"Uryu…"

Uryu smiled.

"You're upset, it's written all over your face. But it's not about the paint, is it?"

Ulquiorra looked to him.

"Szayel Granz looked pained when you yelled at him."

"Serves him right. Ulquiorra, thank you for being concerned, but there's no need. I know Szayel. The only way for me to get through to him is to make it hurt. I've been through this before, in high school. You know my friend, Inoue-san? Yeah, well, she was one of his victims. We actually became friends because of it. Szayel also got better. More… domestic. I guess the time spent away from him has made all our progress go down the drain. Now, come on. Let's go before the paint dries."

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"Schiffer, weird to see you here."

"Good morning, Granz-san."

Szayel pushed his frames up and looked away from Ulquiorra.

"Uryu wanted me to apologize, but heaven knows why. You're even more pathetic than the girl. You do know the only reason why he's your friend is because he feels obligated to. He likes to play the knight, you know. I bet he doesn't give a shit about you because you're just boring and pathetic."

"Like you were, right?"

He shot Ulquiorra a glare as his back straightened.

"What would you know about it? It's not like you know me and Uryu isn't the type to blab."

"Admittedly, the only thing I know is that you used to be as defenceless as me. I honestly can't picture that. You're just so strong, like Uryu."

Szayel frowned, shaking his head.

"Not like Uryu… No one's like Uryu…"

"You care about him a lot, don't you?"

"More than a lot. He's the most important person in the world to me."

"And you want to be his?"

"You wouldn't understand. I love him and he said that he loved me."

"But not in the same way."

_Because he loves you as a friend, but you want him as a lover._

Szayel frowned and rubbed the bridge of his nose. To the normal observer, Szayel was stressed. But Ulquiorra, who has spent his entire life watching from the background, easily noticed that Szayel was more than stressed. Heartbroken, maybe. Ulquiorra grabbed Szayel's arm and the man turned to glare at him, but stopped when he noticed the look on Ulquiorra's face.

"Are you trying to… smile?"

"Yeah, it's not working very well, is it?"

He let out a short laugh that kind of sounded like he was holding in tears.

"I think it looks nice… I guess I can see what Uryu sees in you. Like a cute little animal, a baby bat."

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"The... Track team?"

"Yeah, sign ups are soon. I thought you and Ulquiorra might want to do it with me. Get some exercise. Besides, it's only once a week and afterwards we could go to the frozen yogurt shop next to the school."

"Doesn't eating sweets right after burning off carbs kind of... Defeat the purpose?"

Ulquiorra gave a real smile at Szayel's question, but was quick to answer.

"Yes, but Uryu has an unhealthy addiction to that shop."

"And you don't?"

"I didn't say that."

Szayel sat on Ulquiorra's desk.

"I'll do it and I think you should too, Ulqui. Isn't it the perfect excuse to stalk your crush?"

A faint blush splashed his face, barely noticeable by the human eye.

"Fine, I'll do it."

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_My name is Uryu Ishida and right now..._

"Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner tomorrow night?"

_I'm quite charmed._

"I would love to go with you, but maybe we should do something lighter than dinner. How about coffee, after school, tomorrow?"

He smiled.

"That would be wonderful. I will look forward to tomorrow, Ishida-kun."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kurotsuchi-san."


End file.
